Proud Parent
by KeepSaying
Summary: Kurt and Jane have a lover's quarrel and Rich decides to take them under his wing. One-Shot.


**A/N** : Admittedly not one of my finest moments but it's Rich, I had to try it. Enjoy x

* * *

„What am I supposed to do?" he asked in exasperation "Tell the mother of my child that she can't stay with me for a few days? With said child?"

She glared at him in anger "You know I would never keep you away from your child" she spat out "But it's not like you're giving me much to go on or as if you were trying to at least understand my point of view!"

"Jane" he said, breathing heavily after their fight but before he could say another thing the door flew open and two US Marshalls where standing in front of them, guarding their very own least favorite criminal between them.

Jane was the first to sort out her thoughts enough to form a coherent reply "Rich?" she took a step towards the door, away from Kurt – their fight forgotten for the moment "What are you doing here?"

"Janie!" the black- haired man exclaimed happily "I'd hug you, but they kind of cuffed my hands behind my back" he shrugged apologetically "But I promise you'll get that hug once I get them off. Also, what are you and Stubbles currently talking about? Looked heated" his eyes gleamed with mischief.

"Rich" Kurt had found his voice and stepped next to Jane "This is none of your business" with a look towards the two Marshalls he added "What is he supposed to do here?"

They both shrugged "We got order to bring him in for questioning concerning an ongoing investigation."

"And who would've given you that order?" Kurt wanted to know, still agitated from the still not closed argument with Jane and now this new development.

"That would have been me" Director Hirst stepped through the door into the already crowded office "We have reason to believe that Mr. DotCom here" she pointed at the prisoner "Has information on a person of interest that is supposedly working on a new experimental drug."

"Yes" Rich chimed in poking his head over Hirst's shoulder "He's a very old associate. Not in the literal meaning, even though I believe he is older than me. Which of course isn't saying much since I'm like a spring chicken. He's more of a-"

"Rich" Jane rolled her eyes and looked at Kurt, Hirst and the two Marshals one after the other "I can take him into the interrogation room while you sort out the rest." Anything to get away from the tension in that room that was starting to become unbearable. She took Rich's arm and lead him outside, her mind still reeling on a different topic, as they made their way through the office, ignoring Rich who was still chatting to himself.

"What's the lover's quarrel about?" he was just asking when she pushed the door to the interrogation room open.

"What?" she frowned at him, cuffing him to the table.

"You and Stubbles? Those were not the good vibes I remember when I left you the last time" he remarked "So what's happening? Can't I leave you kids alone for a few months _without_ you destroying all the progress we've made?"

Jane glared at him "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh but I do" he disagreed "Remember that NSA lady that had that stick up her ass? Well we got rid of her and the Marshal too" he watched her eyes narrow at him and his grew wide "No. He's not dating the Marshal again, is he?" Rich buried his face in his hands as far as his confinement would allow "What is wrong with that guy? Can't he see what's right in front of him?"

"You're asking me?" Jane mumbled regretting the words as soon as she had spoken them.

"So it _is_ the Marshal?!" Rich repeated incredulously "I really need to have a talk with him. Guy to guy. Don't worry, Janie. We'll iron out those winkles."

Rolling her eyes she stepped back "We'll be back with our questions. Might take a while, so better get comfortable."

* * *

"Why weren't we informed of him being transferred to our office in advance?" Weller demanded to know, raising his voice "How is this office ever supposed to work, when no one talks to the other?"

Hirst remained calm, shaking her head "I seem to remember that I've told you the same thing the day I took over this office" she shot him a stern look "And no matter how stressed you are, Assistant Director Weller, I would like to remind you, that this office is still in my responsibility."

"I'm sorry" he took a deep breath, trying to control his temper. She was right, he had to keep a cool head especially in his position. "So, why is he here?" he repeated his earlier question calmly.

The Director nodded, pleased, "The bureau has gotten wind of something going on related to a new experimental drug on the dark web. We still haven't gotten the real name of the man who calls himself The Crawler and we were hoping that our prisoner here would know this man from his former time as a big fish on the Dark Net. So we asked him and he happily agreed to work with you on this case."

Kurt furrowed his brow "We're already working on a case." In fact Zapata and Reade were currently out following a lead and he and Jane were supposed to get going to check out another one.

"I know" Hirst acknowledged "But this is high priority. We have reason to believe that they there in the middle of doing the last tests before launching it. Agents Zapata and Reade can still work on your current case but I need you and Ms. Doe to focus on this case for the time being."

Sighing in defeat he said "Of course, ma'am. I will call my agents now and we'll get right on that."

"Thank you, Assistant Director."

* * *

"Has he said anything yet?" Kurt came up behind Jane who was currently watching Rich on the monitors outside the interrogation room, a file laying open in front of her. She looked up quickly and shook her head.

"No. Nothing useful at least. He keeps babbling about anything and everything" she pointed to the man who was twiddling his thumbs at that moment "And he wants to talk to you - guy to guy – to make you see the wrong of your ways."

"Maybe I shouldn't have let you go with him on your own" he mumbled.

She stared at him in disbelief "Excuse me? I think I'm perfectly capable of distinguishing between our private problems and talking to a criminal. Thanks for the vote of confidence there."

"I'm sorry-"

"No. Don't bother" she got up, slamming the file shut and grabbing it "We should go in there. Patterson has already given me everything she's got and she told me Hirst would bring you up to speed" with that she opened the door and he was left to follow her inside, already dreading what was about to come.

It took them almost an hour to get Rich to talk – not that he wasn't talking because he _was_ and wouldn't _stop_ but none of it was relevant to their new case – and they were both exhausted when they stepped out of the interrogation room again, knowing that the real work was just about to begin. And worst of all – they had to take Rich with them.

"Great. Now we can spend our day babysitting you" Jane mumbled as she pushed Rich along in front of her.

"Excuse me?" he turned around awkwardly – his hands were still handcuffed – and looked at her in irritation "I think it's more like the other way around. With me having to babysit you two love birds because apparently you can't get it together on your own." He sighed dramatically "But we can do that, I truly believe in true love, especially yours."

Kurt, who had stepped out before them, turned around "How about you focus on helping us find _The Crawler_ so we can get this over with real quick and can go separate ways?"

"Is he always this bossy?" Rich sighed again, looking at Jane before gazing at Kurt in annoyance "Stubbles, ladies want to be understood not bossed around. Well, some do, but not a power-woman like our Janie here. Even though I'd let her boss me around a little if you don't-"

He has had enough. He's had enough for the past hour and Rich kept getting on his nerves and his temper "Shut your mouth or we will cuff your feet together as well and you can waddle your way out of here and you can keep doing that the rest of the day. Maybe _The Crawler_ will take pity on you." With that he pulled open the door leading to their office with so much force that it hit the wall and bounced back, almost hitting Rich on its way.

"Well" the criminal shrugged and said to Jane "At least he does care."

* * *

"Where are we?" Kurt looked around the location Rich had sent them to "This does not look like a place for criminal meet- ups."

Rich stepped forward, gazing down the hill they were standing on and then looked back at the pair behind him who were standing there, arms crossed. Sorting this out might take him a while, he thought, but he had always loved a challenge.

"That's because most people use this spot for romantic picnics, star- gazing, marriage proposals, sex… the likes" he explained "And there's nothing going on here anymore, but our POI hasn't always had a huge business, he started out a small fish, like so many of us. Not me, _obviously_."

Jane frowned "What's a POI?"

"A person of interest" Kurt told her, never taking his eyes off of Rich "But no one really says that."

"Whatever you wanna call it" Rich rolled his eyes trying to make a wipe gesture but failing because of the cuffs "But I'm not going to call him ' _The Crawler'_ " he scoffed "And people say my name is stupid" he looked up in glee "Hey, remember the first time we met and you were so confused about my name" he laughed "That was hilarious. I really did buy your cover not least because of all of that sexual tension."

Jane interrupted him, throwing him a stern look "What are we doing here when there's nothing there?"

"Well, because" he took a few steps down the hill, away from the view over the city "People always leave stuff behind" he called to them while searching for something in the woods close by. Jane and Weller followed him, never letting him out of their sight and watched him wander around between the trees, staring up at the crowns of the trees "There it is!" he called out after almost five minutes, pointing upwards.

Kurt followed his arm with a frown "What's supposed to be there?"

"It's a camera" Jane chimed in, having found the device first that was hidden behind leaves and painted a dark green. "Is that his?"

"Yes. He was never stupid" Rich explained "The only reason why we ever did business together. And he's extra cautious, like keeping-tab-on-everything- cautious. I think he might be a bit of a control freak" he shot Kurt an amused look "Something for you, Stubbles. Or more for our Janie, since she seems to like those kind of guys?"

Neither Kurt nor Jane dignified that with a response so he kept going „He's never deinstalled the camera – just in case. Truth be told, I would've done the same thing. But I don't think he still checks it regularly and a camera like this always leaves some signal somewhere – So maybe our lovely Patty will be able to get something out of it. Of course _I_ could do it but for some reason you guys don't seem to trust me that much."

"I really wonder why that is" Jane muttered to herself. "Okay, I'm gonna climb up there and get the camera, so we can leave this place?"

* * *

Of course Patterson was able to trace the transmitted signal from the camera back to an apartment and of course Rich and Director Hirst were of the opinion that it would be crucial to their case to take Rich with them, so Jane and Kurt were stuck with the hacker for even longer. Slowly but surely both of them were reaching their limits in dealing with sexual innuendos.

For that reason the drive to the address they had been giving was mostly quiet, well except for Rich's constant babbling but they had found when they ignored him at least it wouldn't get worse. When they got out the first thing in sight was a very fancy looking restaurant and they could already see Rich's eyes light up with excitement.

"Maybe we could get in a quick lunch" he suggested, staring at the premise in longing "Do you have any idea how bad the food in prison is?"

"Since we're not the ones in prison, no, we don't" Kurt shot back "It's the apartment on the first floor, right?"

Jane nodded, taking in her surroundings "It looks like a very quiet street. If I was a criminal I don't think I would hide here" she noted.

"Right, it's so much better to live in an apartment in a street that practically screams ' _Drug Dealer'_ " Rich replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm "Seriously, you guys, sometimes I'm honestly surprised how you ever caught me in the first place."

"We caught you twice, actually" Kurt said, just a little smugly.

"Yes, but only because you let me escape once so I really think one catching is really your fault."

Jane ignored the boys squabble about how often they had caught Rich and went to check the front door, her gun at the ready she peered inside "Hallway is clean" she called back to them "You wanna come or should I go in alone?" She ignored Kurt's glare at the suggestion and waited for them to join her so they could silently make their way inside.

The whole building was quiet. A lot quieter than a lived-in house should feel like. Reaching the apartment Patterson had given them the number to they listened for a moment – still nothing – so Kurt went ahead and kicked it open, earning himself an impressed whistle from Rich.

"There's nothing here" Jane stated when they stepped in and found the apartment empty, covered in a layer of dust. Nonetheless she walked to the left, checking everything from the drawer to a bin and even pushed the bed away from the wall to take a look behind it. Kurt was doing the same thing on the other side of the room and Rich went to check out the windows 'To refuel a little vitamin D before he had to spend his days indoor again'.

"I've got something" Kurt called out after about 5 minutes, holding up a small piece of paper he had found behind the wardrobe "Looks like a receipt for something" he said trying to decipher the faded sales slip.

Jane stepped behind him, taking a look over his shoulder to see the paper as well "It's for ten rubber-dolls?" she read incredulously "What does he need those for?"

Rich shrugged, stepping back from the window "What better place to hide your new drug in then a sex doll?" He wandered over to the pair "So, does that mean our next stop is a sex shop? I mean that has so much potential!" They both glared at him and he put his hands up in surrender "Okay okay, we could start easy. You two could go to that restaurant downstairs on a date night. You know, for a date. I would totally pay for it!"

Jane turned around scowling at both men and muttered, only for Kurt to hear "That would require _someone_ not spending every waking moment working."

"Or _someone_ actually telling me what they want" Kurt shot back just as quietly.

Rich watched the exchange and even though he couldn't hear the words that were spoken he could still see the way they were thrown around. When Jane had already left, he put a reassuring hand on Kurt's tense shoulders "Oh, Stubbles. We still have some way to go, haven't we?"

When they got downstairs Jane was already on the phone with Patterson, giving her the name of the shop they had found and asking her for the address and new developments on the case – there weren't any. So they would have to actually go to a sex shop. With Rich. Oh the joy.

* * *

The moment the trio stepped inside the store something felt amiss. Yes, there were sex toys en masse here and yes, the lights were red as they had expected but still… there was no one else – apart from the cashier – in this shop and it was a pretty busy street to a time where most people were already off work.

Jane looked around the story carefully, eyeing some of the toys curiously, others more in confusion. She didn't know what some of them even were but maybe... her gaze flickered to Kurt whose gaze was trained on the owner of the shop... It was just a tiny movement but when she looked back up and met Rich's eyes she knew that _he_ had seen it and he enjoyed himself way too much. Groaning inwardly she joined the men on the counter, crossing her arms in front of her chest as Kurt started to ask questions.

There was a long moment of silence as the man in front of them took all of them in. First he sized Kurt up, then the badge he was holding out. After that his eyes moved to Rich and narrowed when he took him in, blatantly labeling him as someone else. When he looked at her, though, he took his time and she could practically feel Kurt tense.

He regarded her face intently before eyeing the tattoos on her exposed arms and something there made him freeze.

"You're with them" he spit out, taking a step back "Go away!" he shouted "I'm through with him. I've paid all my debts."

Jane stared at him in confusion and then back down on her arms, apparently she had a tattoo of _someone_ on there. She leveled the man with her eyes, taking a step towards the counter "Which one is it?" she wanted to know but only got a glare back.

"I'm not telling you again" he said instead and in the matter of a second he had pulled up a gun from under the counter, pointing it at Jane with a shaky hand "Don't make me shoot her" he threatened Kurt who had pulled his gun as well. All the time his eyes were only trained on Kurt, the one with the gun, the dangerous one, so when Jane leaped forward, grabbing the counter with her hands and pushing herself over it to disarm him, he hadn't even realized that she wasn't standing in place anymore.

He tried scrambling from the floor and managed to get up when Jane was securing the weapon and ran towards the door, only to be detained by Kurt who stepped in front of him "FBI. You're under arrest" he said but the other man just bolted forward again trying to get around him. No luck there.

Kurt hit him with his left elbow when he tried to go that way and when he turned to the other direction Jane was already there, kicking him in the lumbar spine and feeling his legs give out beneath him.

While Kurt handcuffed their newest suspect Jane looked around in agitation, she hadn't seen Rich for the duration of their fight. "Rich?" she called out, walking down the aisles of the store until she found him – in the corner furthest away from all of them, his hands covering his face and he only watched her through a gap between his fingers.

"Is it over?" he wanted to know, dropping his arms slowly when she nodded "Oh good. Because I didn't want to get shot at again because that really isn't one of my favorite past times and your lover here does not have a good track record in keeping me safe-"

"Hey Rich" they heard Kurt call out, dragging the suspect along with him "Wanna go home? I hear the other prisoners are already missing their punching bag."

"Why do you have to be so mean?" Rich lamented, dropping his head and following Jane to the exit.

* * *

"I'm sorry" Kurt stepped forward caressing her cheek "I didn't mean for you to find out like this. Allie just sprung this on me this morning and I was so excited to see my baby girl and I should've talked to you about it."

Jane sighed, leaning into his touch "Yes, you should have. But it's your daughter" she looked up at him "And the little time you _can_ spend with her, you should. I would never keep you from that. It's just that Allie's staying as well and-" she broke of, fidgeting with her hands and looking anywhere else in the locker room that weren't his eyes.

"Jane?" he spoke softly "It's OK. Tell me."

"I don't like her living… _sleeping_ in your apartment all weekend" she admitted finally, dropping her head "I know I shouldn't be but I'm jealous. I mean you guys have a kid together and-" she looked at him wide-eyed "I don't like her being around you when I'm not there." When she saw that he was trying to bite back a laugh she glared at him "What?"

"Nothing it's-" he tried hard to hide his grin but the look on her face told her that she was having none of it "I just find it really cute that you're jealous of _Allie_ when you're you know… _you_."

"Oh, yes, hilarious" she said leaning back from his touch "Why would I ever be jealous of the _mother of your child_ I have no idea!"

"That's not what I meant" he tried to back-pedal, moving in on her again and opening his arms for her, letting her decided whether she wanted to step into his embrace or not. He was glad when she did. "I love you" he whispered when he had her in his arms and pressed a kiss to her temple "And I don't want you to be jealous because you're the only woman for me."

He heard her mumble something that he didn't quite understand but that sounded a lot like 'For now' and he shook his head "No. Not only for now. I want you forever and maybe it's too soon to say that after such a short time but I will always love you."

They stood there for a bit with his hand moving up and down her back "Move in with me."

Jane stared up at the sudden suggestion and was about to reply when the door burst open and Rich skipped over to them, throwing his arms around both of them, hugging them fiercely.

"Oh Janie, please" he begged when he let go of them "Say yes and release us."

Jane looked between the two man, one of them having his hands clasped together in a begging motion and the other for once, not completely annoyed with him, but rather grinning at her, shrugging as if to say ' _What can you do?_ '

Rolling her eyes she nodded her head slowly, a smile spreading on her lips "Yes. I will."

"You guys!" Rich exclaimed, wiping away some tears from the corner of his eye "I'm feeling like a proud parent right now."


End file.
